The concept is so much more romantic than the application


This is TOUGH.
Wow. Seriously.
For some readers my exasperation may not make a whole lot of sense just yet as I haven’t caught up on the ‘background’ of things (coming soon, I promise), but honestly, today is way too difficult.

We are pursuing ‘a simple life’.
We want to downsize, prioritize, live life with things that have true value. We don’t want to be tied down by our possesions or travel over the mountains with boxes of things that will simply remain in boxes as they exist simply for, well, existing. But holy crap, moving from here to there in lifestyle and thinking is much MUCH more difficult than I could have ever anticipated.

This morning it felt like all hell broke loose in my kitchen. I walked in to see my shelves stripped bare, some very special sentimental glass items in the recycling box, the pictures off of the walls, and most of the asethetic appeal within our home either packed, trashed, or recycled. I was blown away. I was angry. I was hurt. I was exasperated. See, I’m the type of girl who loves creating a ‘home’; a cozy nook of pretty things and a welcoming environment of hospitality and food and soft lighting. I love to feel a sense of safety and ownership and familiarity within my home environment. I deeply love this house and the home I have created within it.
Now we’re moving. But not for 5 weeks.
Here’s the difficulty. J’ is the type of fellow who is always one step ahead. Academic papers are completed months in advance. Planning is a week ahead of time for events. Packing for a move, well, he was ready to start two months ago, before we had even decided a move was certain. So for him to posses a sense of peace and order and focus, he desires the house to be packed and ready (ie. empty) so that he can enjoy the last weeks without the stress of packing and hauling.
I say it’d be more enjoyable if there were a chair to sit on or a pretty picture on the wall πŸ˜‰

Now, if we were simply moving and wanted to be ahead of the game, that’s one thing. However, we’re changing our entire life; our philosophy of consumption and posession and dwelling and eating and purchasing and EVERTHING. When you place that kind of change within a cross-country move it leads to incredibly intense moments.
I am struggling. I am really struggling.
Fact: I DO desire a simplified life.
Fact: I DO want to go through things and purge stuff and hold on to less.
Fact: I DO need to change in some key areas.
But….
Fact: Sometimes sentiment is more valuable than things that are expensive or fancy.
Fact: It is REALLY challenging to change everything in a month. I don’t even know if it’s possible.
Fact: I’ve come so far in such a short time.
And….
Question: How far do you go? When can I say “I’ve arrived!” or…can I?
Question: What is actually worth holding onto?
Question: What about all the money I’ve invested into these things?
Question: What about some of the beautiful sentimental things that I love simply because they were given in love?
Queston: Dear God, how am I going to survive this? What good is an empty house if the homemaker jumps ship? πŸ˜‰

(sigh)

It has been a most difficult morning and I do not know what to do. I am angry at my partner. I am frustrated within (or at?) myself.

J said that simpler does not always equate simple.
We (on a good day) want a simple life, not just simple in comparison to yesterday.
So how are we going to get there?

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Comments
4 Responses to “The concept is so much more romantic than the application”
  1. Lola says:

    Lots of hard questions and I have no good answers. But I can say that M was Psyched about the trailer idea and wants to go look!!!!Good chatting tonight. Lets get together.

  2. Kmarie says:

    All I know is that sentiments are there for a reason-to keep others alive within us….although at some point it is possible to have that without the thing but I do not think it’s wrong to attach to something either.We went through a huge purge before summer and there are 2 things I regret getting rid of-even though I was the one who was pushing it.It is different for everyone and you need to go with the pace that is right for you and only you.(you are not sinning just because you need to take it slower,in fact I applaud you knowing your own inner self and not ignoring it!)Eventually I think ,after this is done, you may find you both will circle back to a balance where it is easy to know what to do.That is the great thing about life-its always changing in order to keep us growing….otherwise we all would hold our way over everyone else or get haughty over it.You have been through alot in a short time.We all admire and encourage you in this but there could come a crash time soon.(Im not saying this to be a downer but because I know from experience and I delt with less than you -I don’t want you to feel alone or like you are weak if it happens) I think women’s hidden strengths are the fact that they do stop and allow the emotion and relationships to take a first.It’s good to see that all these material decisions are not overriding the relationships.I’m encouraged by you and admire your humility,honesty,vulnerability and confusion.I am honored to be your friend.

  3. Keith and Jamie says:

    In my opinion, the beautiful sentimental things are most definitely worth keeping, even if they have to be boxed up for a few years. I forget who said it, but I really like this saying: “Have nothing in your house that you do not either know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.” It is a wonderful thing to live simply, but I think the little touches of beautiful, memorable treasures in a home are like the icing on the cake.

  4. Dea' says:

    Oh James, I love that quote! Thank you for that, I think I will embrace that within my home! πŸ™‚

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