unplugged


We spent the last hour eating popcorn and drinking ice water while a thunderstorm blew past. Some town nearby is going to have some crazy storm action tonight! The high heat of the day has led to some intense systems around our area. Hopefully we’ll see and hear some more action tonight.

Anyways.  Why I sat down at this screen:

I have always been more of a starter than finisher.
More pioneer than problem solver.
Definitely more the dreamer than the doer!
And, somehow, within all of the above, prone to live in a somewhat fictional version of my life, along with a pace of “I will someday…”.

All this to say, I often say more than I do and lately the ‘doing’ has gone waaaay way down.

I’ve had good intentions. I’ve made attempts. I’ve set limits, made lists, asked for helpers here and there. But at the end of the day, when I’m really honest with myself, my ‘expressed life values’ go something like this:

–          FaceBook

–          Browsing (kijiji, blogs, blogs linked from other blogs, etsy, sermons, reviews, blueprints, products I might like someday when I’m rich, houses I might build someday when I…build houses, jobs in Kuwait, new curriculums, etc., etc., etc….)

–          Re-checking the above

–          Oh, and then checking again.

–          Nap

–          Cooking cooking cooking. Leaving the dishes.

–          Working through the guilt of not cleaning the house, reading, writing, or contributing

–          Sitting

–          Watching sitcoms (Currently ‘Grey’s Anatomy’, sometimes 24, often the Office Off the Map or…)

–          Checking in. Again. Sharing one of the 5 status updates I conjured after napping.

–          Thinking about the blog post I was inspired to write the day before.

–          Looking at the laundry. Wondering when Jer’s gonna hang those diapers.

–          Going to bed too too late after staring at my screen wondering what else I was looking for and what else I should find.

‘Addiction’ is a strong word. In our common culture, the term is most often reserved for those struggling with abuse of certain substances or materials or icky actions. In much of ‘Christian’ culture it is used lightly, often describing actual dependant behavior, but with a laugh (ie. “I’m totally addicted to caffeine!” “I’m SO addicted to that show!!”). In my life and the lives of those I love, I’ve witnessed both.

I am addicted to Facebook.
I have been misusing my time and gifts.
I have been neglecting my responsibilities.
I have experienced a dulling of my mind, discouragement of my heart, and lessening of my motivation towards good things.

I have, in many respects, been living a ‘virtual life’.
Tightly following the lives of other screens, thinking of my day in 420 character updates, waiting for comments, telling my kiddo  to “just wait a minute!” while I lived online….
I have neglected my very real, and very valuable, life here in my hands.

So then.

Perhaps you can relate.
Some will not. Perhaps you think I’m over-reacxting or being all melo-dram’ 😉
Some will relate, but then laugh it off. Another ethical addiction.
Some will understand, and feel that quickening wonder that asks, “Maybe I can change this time, and re-awaken to life….”

For me, it’s not entirely easy to communicate and yes, it does sound a little silly. But in making some real decisions (finally, after years), and communicating them to my husband and a friend, I have sensed a shift. There is freedom. Awakening. Realization that there is a LOT I can accomplish and experience and consider.

Practically speaking:
– This coming weekend, I will be deleting my FaceBook account (easier said than done…eerie!). Unfortunately, there are some sweet contacts with whom I only communicate through that venue (mssg’ing, commenting). If they don’t share their email addresses by the weekend, I could really lose contact with them. Weird. And yeah, I could just set up other parameters and say that I would just message when necessary, but I’ve said that before, and apparently I can’t stick to it.

–          I am updating my ‘friends and followings’ tab, and trying to find a blog roll application which will take on the different formats. (And this week, I’m also open to suggestions for blogs that I just must read/follow). I need to quit the ‘blog browsing’ as, for me, it leads to following link upon link, which is the point isn’t it? (Oh, and I’m hoping to do my blog reading weekly, instead of tri-daily 😉 )

–          I will still be writing here. Hopefully more. And better.

–          I’m cleaning up my email inboxes, moving to one email address, and attempting to stay organized.

–          I’m allowing one movie night and one or two shows (which is probably lots for most of you but, sadly, a huge cutback for me. Weird!)

 

What I’m hoping to see:

–          Clearing of my mind. Greater physical alertness. More sleep. Cleaner house. Greater patience. Awareness of faults/issues in my life. Completion of writing projects. More exercise. Development of new skills. Deeper and more consistent peer communication.

Soo…that’s me. I decided to go with the big ol’ explanation cuz, well, that’s me too 😉 And people were wondering. And maybe someone else is wondering if it’s time to change.

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Comments
15 Responses to “unplugged”
  1. Lola says:

    I don’t miss it at all. Mine’s not deleted but it’s empty and I can’t see anyone’s updates and no one can comment on mine at all. No photos, nothing. When I click on it, it’s empty and lifeless and you know what… it’s not hard at all. The lead up is harder than the reality. It’ll be great! You’ll love it. My email address is on my blog. Best of luck…

  2. Missy says:

    Mine is deleted! Well, will be in two weeks after I haven’t touched it, they hang on to is just in case apparently. And obviously you know that I don’t think it silly at all, perhaps silly that it came to this for so many of us but it is the reality. Not to bash facebook alone because the truth is that anything can become “fillers” like blogs, or medical research (for me), or kijiji or whatever. I just think that FB has such a pull because it seems like you are really interacting with others.

  3. Kit says:

    Yes! I totally understand. I have definitely considered this so many times. Especially when I see a direct correlation between my kids ignoring me with me ignoring them… But I am still arguing with how useful fb can be. And that I can exercise self control. I guess time will tell if I am in denial or not.

  4. Kmarie says:

    I’m impressed. Once you transition you will not be disappointed. What I do is triweekly I only read blogs of friends and a few inspirational, I make sure to comment every few posts to make them feel loved and that also makes me feel like I am not just wasting time as words can be encouraging or sharpening- it makes me give instead of just absorb, and I post about 2-5 times a week depending on inspiration. I quickly check emails when I blog and then the rest is history. I LOVE being so FREE. You will too:)

  5. Ang says:

    I LOVE this. I love that you’re thinking. I love that you’re aware. I love that you’re trying to change for the betterment of your family. Isn’t it amazing what our generation has gotten caught up in? Keep running. I look forward to reading how all this will positively affect your life. I think it will be contagious… 🙂

  6. Rikki says:

    Our laptop has been out for repairs a few times and it’s amazing how much I check Facebook and blogs when we have it, it was an escape and a way to avoid real life. When I became aware of how often I would go to reach for it, it was scary!! I think I’ve found a balance but I’m still struggling with the tv watching at night, but Im starting to replace that with excersizing, baby steps!! Good luck!!

  7. Hi Dea’! I got rid of my facebook a while back too, and created our joint one, which I’m probably going to end up deleting now too (I wrote about it on my blog too). I hope you find new inspiration in your days to live real life as it comes, not on a screen, but all around you (as is my hope for myself). Wishing you peace in your courageous decision!

  8. Anonymous says:

    I totally get it, I wish more people had your perspective and wisdom. Good for you (and your precious family)

  9. Anonymous says:

    That anonymous was me
    Graham

  10. Anonymous says:

    Hi sister, I admire you for your love for your family and your love for God. I too have been thinking of deleting some of my stuff on facebook (friends that I don’t really connect with, a lot of my albums and videos, edit my privacy and security settings even more, etc.) I have family back home (Philippines) and fb is the easiest way to connect with them. So it’s bit hard to say goodbye to FB. Fbooking only for family and really close friends. I totally get what you’re saying about being addicted. I find myself infront of my laptop lots on FB. It is very sad but at the same time it teaches me. I love being able to share my life with family and friends and give God the glory for all that He is! I love seeing my family and friends celebrate their lives too. I love that I can ask for prayer and pray for others. Be encouraged by bible verses posted by others, etc. So maybe it’s not so bad. I guess it really just depends on how bad we make it, right?
    Anyway, love you sis and I’m gonna miss ya.

  11. Joyous says:

    Sorry, I’m new to this blogging thing. That anonymous was me, joy ;D

  12. Totally understand 🙂 I have enjoyed catching up with you and yours on FB, but I can do that here too. I’ll keep your blog in my favorites! (this is my blog account)
    ♥Jenna

  13. Sounds like a great list of things to work on accomplishing. 🙂

    For me, one of the harder things I had to do to simplify my life was to get rid of our television service (which is hard because I have this amazing, amazing 3D TV). I had found that lovely and I were spending too much time watching television and not actually interacting. Since we’ve done away with the service, I’ve found that we’ve talked more and saved a bit of money.

    I look forward to keeping in touch with you and yours on this blog.

    Josh Hake

    P.S. – Tell Jer he’d better feel sorry for me – my team is in the midst of a 15-game losing streak! (Thank goodness there’s more to life than sports). 🙂

    • Dea' says:

      Hi Josh! So great to have you here 🙂 Thanks for following our story 🙂 Getting rid of the television service seems like such an effective idea. Good for you two! It’s interesting that it takes so much work to cut out our ‘conveniences’….

      (and Jer feels very sorry for you and your team 😉 )

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