a groove once was a rut…your rut can be your groove…get groovin’

I believe, after much fanfare and ridiculous, and with much more to come, I am finally finding my ‘mama groove’. Of course, there are loads of disclaimers to that statement, but if I begin to list them now my focus will remain on that and ‘disclaim’ my way right through all kinds of silliness. For now, I’m feelin’ the groove.

What’s changed? In the physical, practical, tangible realities…nothing, nothing at all. However, within those realities, I’m finding a deepening appreciation towards my current role, and even this season. I’m finding myself increasingly in awe of my children. I have children! A whole gang of them! I’m stepping back from certain tasks and possessions and mindsets, and stepping forward with a view towards doing things well, instead of just doing things.

Perhaps, for the most part, this ‘sense of groove’ can’t be communicated in a blog post, or in any words for that matter. I think it’s one of those special meetings of ‘being’ and ‘doing’; where they mix and mesh and complement.

Practicially speaking, for what I can put into words, here are a few steps (some doozies, that will need further explanation at another time when I’m not halfway to bed).
– I’m learning that I’m not a 24/7 preschool. I can’t do three playground trips a day. It was fun for the first two weeks, but not sustainable. I’m learning to live more at home, to take a full hour in the yard with both boys and the dog and some balls, and to run about looking ridiculous.
– I am a slow sloooow housekeeper. I’m just not that good at it. The funny thing, is that I actually want to be good at it; I LOVE a clean house; but it’s tough for me to figure out. So, I’ve learned that, for me at least, doing a full clean is way easier to tend to for about three days following, then doing bits of cleaning if/when/where the moment strikes. It takes an enormous amount of inner pep-talking, and about two late nights of cleaning each week, but it does lend itself to a house that’s just much nicer to be in.
– Preschool. A bit of a long explanation, especially given the intense back-and-forth discussions between myself and others. But, for this term, Jeremiah is attending the little preschool on the other end of town. And…it was a really great decision.
– Chickens. Poop. Floors. Crawling babies. Diarrhea. Winter. Newborn. No husband. Life. Etc. Those words basically sum up an epic decision to sell my beloved hens. Again, a lot of discussion, some tears, and all the in-betweens, but yes, I sold my hens. For now. I hope to bring some home again in about two years. (Sigh. Yeah, another post for another day).
– I’ve officially joined a freelancing site and am bidding on ‘real’ contracts. In short: I am increasingly in love with my children, I have chosen to be at home, but now and then I just need something to sharpen my mind outside of these walls.
– I joined a Mom’s Group. Yup, that kind of gathering which I used to mock without hesitation. To my shame and happiness, it is quite fantastic.
– Another purge. Toys, books, clothes. Actually, this feels more like early nesting than a life-shift to mama-groove. Hmm… I literally tore apart the boy’s room today, rearranged, trashed, and tucked them in feeling much better about the world.

Alright. I need to tuck in for now. (Ha, yet another tough lesson: learning discipline with time in front of the screen!)

Hoping you’re each finding your flow, your groove, your place in this life and season.

5 Responses to “a groove once was a rut…your rut can be your groove…get groovin’”
  1. thismama says:

    I love that you are able to make some hard decisions (such as getting rid of your chickens and attending preschool) knowing that they are right for now. For me anyways, it is hard to be humble enough to make such choices.
    I miss mom’s group. I never thought those were my thing but it was so good for me and now I miss all those dear women this year.

  2. this is so inspiring, dea. and i think maybe, just maybe, my very own groove may be on the horizon as well. i’m feelin’ it… (my house hasn’t noticed yet, but i swear it’s coming 😉

  3. Jamie says:

    I’m so glad you are finding your groove, and finding the best choices for you and your family right now!! I think that finding my groove has been the most important thing for me to feel like I’m doing a good job as a mama. Figuring out our priorities and sticking to them and all that. Good for you!!!

  4. Sara L says:

    Lucky! I haven’t found mine yet… lol Well, honestly, I think I have found a peace that goes with the ebb and flow of my life. I remember feeling lost the first several years of parenting… Who I was didn’t work anymore. My skills I was trained in were useless, or at least not of any main importance… I think I’ve forgotten that girl now… I’m ok with that too. She had a lot to learn. My skills and talents from before were good. But this… this takes character and growth. It’s hard, but oh so good. 🙂 I think you’re doing fabulous though! I so wish I would have gone to a mom’s group when L and K were younger, it would have helped me so much… those were lonely days for me.

    Oh, about house cleaning… Its never been my thing either. But I’ve found some tricks that help me. One simple thing is this. If I find if I’ve gotten behind and am in a slump I need something to kick me into gear. Either inviting friends over or we do what my kids now call a ‘time pow’ (Levi came up with the name, he pretends he’s Mario…) we count out loud for 1 minute and we see how much we can get done in one room during that time. I tend to be slow too, so I find this helps me so much. Seriously, in 5 minutes the house looks different and I find it much easier to keep at it! I have a good book for you though… It’s called Large Family Logisics (beth, that’s the one I was telling you about) It’s not just for large families, but it breaks everything down… very handy!

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