points on parenting

I’m learning.

A lot.

For all the intensity and failure of the past couple weeks of mothering, I am seeing that it has not being without fruit. My boys are, for the most part, much the same. I have not gained more sleep. Jeremy remains away. But, between some startling conversations and reflections on things like ‘how God parents us’, along with cutting out certain phrases like “I don’t have time”, and a few very practical points of change, I’m getting there.

For tonight, I’ll share some of my ‘very practical’ things. Most of these are so simple that I’m sure you’re all doing them. None of them are related to Christmas. But, maybe there are some other, er, slow mamas out there like myself who could use some new ideas.

–          Why am I freaking out? Because there is an issue or because I am embarrassed as to how my kids are acting in front of others?

–          What am I choosing in the moment: to be present? Or to be busy? Internet or playtime? Complaint or prayer? Do I really not have three minutes to play “you can’t get me!”? Will my laundry really get dirty again if we dump it out and use the basket as a boat? Am I so late for something so important that I need to use that tone?

–          When we sin or mess up or don’t catch on in ‘real life’, does our God push us away or invite us near? Are we His greatest annoyance and burden, or His greatest joy and concern and pleasure?

–          I’ve said it before, but I’m realizing it for real: order promotes order, disorder leads to disorder. My home needs to be organized. Not sterile or empty or with a sense of showcase or chill, but tidy and orderly and clean.

–          There are issues of character and true disobedience and concern, and ‘issues’ of being a kid. In my family, a true and ‘this needs discipline’ issue is the fact that Jeremiah is choosing to hit his mama. He reacts, expresses anger, and chooses to hit. This needs to stop. Now. He needs help and direction and consequences. On the filp side, another ‘issue’ in our home is the dumping and dancing-on of food. These boys looooove the sound kitty-kibbles make as they scatter on the laminate. They thoroughly enjoy how oatmeal floats and flies. They find the teeny-scattering of quinoa just so…intriguing.
But. They are three and one and there are jars of all kinds of intriguing materials at their level in a tiny house in the cold of winter and it’s good fun. So it’s time for me to make the choice to cut the disorder and redirect their attention. Between today and Christmas, I’m determined to find a whole lot of hooks and locks and other things and cut the option. This way, true issues will be highlighted, nagging will be minimized, and we’ll have the much less mess and that much more time for playing chase and laundry boats 😉


There’s a Christmas post about ready as well, but I just wanted to toss this out there while I could.

Now, I’m off to finish some tucking in and stoke the fire and then tuck in with some very fantastic aged white cheddar and sparkly juice.

G’night, till later.

3 Responses to “points on parenting”
  1. Kmarie says:

    That is a great idea! ( Locks on stuff that stress) and leaving permissible things for creativity. The greatest minds have disorder often around them ( Einstein for instance) Some people need that to be brilliant. They may not be ordered but they can contribute great thoughts- Maybe your boys are going to be that!!!!:) Although for now- a little direction so mamma does not go insane is not so bad. Just don’t get stressed out about having order either:) There are many days my kids terrioze the home- order is not my priority…and then we clean up and then a tornadoes hits..it’s a cycle…But we all have personalities that need the chaos and the clean. Unfortunately my hubby needs more order so it is finding a way to make everyone feel at their optimal. Different strokes for different folks!
    I am glad you are finding your groove! Especially alone it may be nice to minimize all your jobs. Remind me tonight- I think I have a few child safety locks and stuff. I will try to find them for you!

  2. kimberley says:

    you left a comment a few days ago and i just wanted to thank you. 🙂 seems like i missed so many dear ones in the transition out of TH, but i have loved to catch glimpses of your journey here and read your thoughts that make me think.

    and this post speaks of the realness of being a mama and reveals the areas that i need to be more proactive in and so i wanted to thank you as well – for revealing what is hard and finding what is good so that we can as well.

    praying for you in this season…

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