well?


Thank you for the comments and interaction. So interesting and informative and supportive and helpful!

I’ve come a long way since last night and now find myself at the following place:

I don’t know what this birth is going to look like. I’m not sure who is going to be present. I’ve expected this kiddo to emerge  for the past five nights and now have no confidence in my ability to read my body or its signs. I’m not sure if he’ll show up before Jeremy heads back to the site. I don’t know if labor will be swift or slow or ridiculous.

I.have.no.clue.

But I can’t do anything about any of that. And that’s alright. For now, as my husband wisely said, my responsibility is to “prepare myself because I cannot prepare the future…”

So. I’m just going with it. There are a few details I’m figuring out, like how I want to labor as long as I can at home, and how I really do want my husband there for that final moment of arrival as we grow and emerge and become a new thing. As for the rest of it it, well…
At some point (I hope) labor will begin. At some point (I hope) this baby will be in my arms. At some point, we will celebrate the growth of our family.

And that’s about it.

See ya…sometime.

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Comments
One Response to “well?”
  1. Ashley says:

    Even though I checked your blog last night I am way behind on the commenting and discussion and now your conclusions (or sum of thoughts) .
    I like what everyone had to say and again it just reaffirms to me what a special group of women you find yourself amongst.
    I have had and will have Luke there every single time with no exception. I feel it is just as much his experience as it is mine, and it has brought us closer together each time we’ve been through it. My mom and sister were there with Joah and that was great. The respected my space and stood back, and it was great to have them there for the experience. The next time I could see it being just Luke and I and having the kids come in soon after. Who knows.
    When the time comes, I think you’ll know.
    Praying that time is soon!
    Ash

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