{crickets chirping}


{Disclaimer: This isnt’ a poetic or pretty post. It’s one of those detailed explanations with awkward terms and baby details. You’ve been warned 😉 }

Months ago, when we moved back to this town, I attended a prenatal appointment (with a different doctor than I am now blessed to have attending me). He spun the little cycle wheel and declared my due date to be January 22nd and therefore I needed to head to the next town for delivery as January was ‘full’ for the official Baby Doctor in the clinic. “That’s nice,” I told him, “but I know my cycle was 35 days long, not 28, so my due date is more likely the 31st, so almost into February.” He was slow to believe that could be possible, so off we went for an early dating ultrasound. That scan declared Baby to be due February 2nd, in line with my ‘own’ due date and into some open space for delivery in this town.

Skip back to previous experience….

With the two boys already home with me, I began labour on my cycle date and delivered on the ultrasound date. It was convenient that the two dates were only one day apart and I knew every teeny detail of my cycle and life and, well, everything. I expected them to arrive on a specific date…and they did! Everything proceeded as I planned and I was more than pleased with my awareness of my body and everything surrounding the experience (ie. Oh so proud!). With this baby, those dates are more spaced out and I’ve been out of sync with my body (and life!) for the whole pregnancy. Prelabour (or whatever) has been evident for more than a week with all the very specific signs that brought about the birth of the other boys within days. These expressions moved me into “HE’S COMING!!!” zone and my mind has been spinning ever since

So then. Here I sit. I am officially past all the ‘official due dates’. I have gone back to check dates and cycles and everything several times a day the past few days. I’ve announced changes and signs of my body and had everyone on high-alert for too many days. Now, I’m that crazy lady who is entirely disconnected from her body and seasons, over-reading any and every sign and showing myself to be a real dummy.

Hm.

But, in the bigger picture, there is a benefit to experiencing that confused “Umm?!?!” that comes with not having things go according ‘to plan’. Lately, I’ve been considering more involvement with births and women and such. Interestingly enough, most women’s birth experiences have some unexpected steps (late, early, c-section, etc.). As frustrating and inconvenient as this all is, I can now empathize instead of just sharing pat answers and experiences of perfect plans. So…yay.

That said…I’m really more than ready for Baby to come on out, for J to head on home, and for life to move on. The funny thing about ‘late’ delivery is that people almost shift into “Well, I guess he’s not coming” mode, and move on. I have to (haaaaave to!) believe that this baby will be born at some point.  Cuz he will…right?

Anyways. Happy Saturday. Hoping to share a much more beautiful and exciting post soon!

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Comments
5 Responses to “{crickets chirping}”
  1. Oh I SO know what it’s like to be way overdue… and last time I foolishly expected it would be different. But it wasn’t. I felt dumb – my Dad & Mom even flew out from ON based on my “sure feelings” only to wait around for nearly 2 weeks before baby arrived! It’s a total mind game… and the only thing you can do is wait and wait and wait. I don’t have any advice really (other than the usual pat answers) but I do know that I will be attempting a more graceful “waiting” this time around… trying desperately to not have any expectations. Thinking of you often, me dear! (And no, you’re not the crazy lady… you are handling it all beautifully considering the craziness that’s gone on in the last couple of weeks!).

  2. Oops – “my” dear, not “me” dear. It sounded like I was trying to be Irish or something. Ha!

  3. Marissa says:

    Ok, um if you are crazy, I am off the charts. Picture me labouring, pushing, and thinking that the instant my water broke the babe would pop out so fast! Only to be told “oh sweety this isn’t labor”! Now that is what makes people think crazy woman;). Trouble was it “felt” like it was going to plan. I think that when we believe strongly in natural birthing in all aspects and we are tuned to our bodies, it really throws us for a loop when our body doesn’t work the way we know it should. And it is hard, so hard sometimes so I for one don’t think you crazy and I am empathizing. And I will continue to check a little obsessively until you have that little one in your arms! Love you my friend.

  4. Kmarie says:

    That is so frustrating and it will be soon…even if soon means another week or so:) It’s tough to relax but in a way – today is so beautiful- it may be nice not to be in a hospital or labouring quite yet:)
    I think maybe you hit the nail on the head..if you are going to help with babies and such then perhaps for empathy’s sake and humility’s sake this will help. I know for me – I look back at my miscarriages that way…the silver linning in an otherwise horrible heartbreaking experience. It did give me empathy and understanding:) Not saying you are not understanding or humble but simply saying now you will be even more so and it was wise of you to pick up on that:)

    It will come soon. For now- pregnancy hormones are coursing through your body and perhaps today can look even brighter because of that….here is hoping:) If you need someone to give you a break just call. It’s free and my kids love to play:)

  5. Anonymous says:

    I remember being 3 weeks overdue with our oldest who was conceived before we officially lost the baby before him, and I was pregnant with both for 2 days while he was in my fallopian tubes… Sound crazy yet? Well he was born 13 months to the day that we conceived our first baby, it felt like eternity. He was a healthy 9lb 2 but I was sure he would be walking by the time the birth happened.
    All this to say, keep this writing vibe open! All births are so different & it seems that this is the best time to document the ebb & flow.. There will be a beautiful story to share when he arrives, while this will become a memory as your family continue on within his full first year.

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