respite


It seems as though I am being taught:
to be open to anything,
to expect nothing,
to be thankful for everything,
to plan for…now,
to quit saying, “I thought” and “If only” and “I can’t”
to always declare, “I am open”, “I am willing”, “He can in me”,
to realize that unplanning is a Perfect Plan,
to see Light upon my weakness as a path to Strength,
to step off and into, without fear.

The past twenty-four hours have presented opportunity for that breaking point which we are sometimes blessed to feel to our depth and that we are sometimes blessed from which to walk away.

And now it’s the next day.

I’m tucked into my room, no lights on. I hear the fire already going in the stove. I smell toast and coffee. I glance at the clock and tell myself that yes, he really did walk in the door seven hours ago while I slept; home for me, home for them, home now until this child is laid upon my chest and even for days afterwards.
I am listening to a certain kind of banter and laughter and deep love on the other side of my door, which only happens these certain unexpected mornings. I am going to snuggle back in and just listen for awhile.

So many tests passed, so many to come, but in this Now of the unplanned I will pause.

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Comments
9 Responses to “respite”
  1. thismama says:

    Oh my heart feels so glad for you, Dea! as a certain sheen in my eyes is attesting to. Rest dear friend.

    • Gertruda says:

      I read your blog all the time. I check it on a regular basis. Then I think of my blog and how your life seems so much more exntciig than mine. Keep writing! I will comment more. Usually I just laugh or cry right along with you!Love, Bonnie

  2. Kmarie says:

    So happy for you Dea…Glad you can hibernate and finish off rested. So glad he is home to do all the work… May the rest of the journey bring joy

  3. Ashley says:

    I am also sitting here getting teary-eyed. And am so glad for you. Though you are still heavy on my heart as the nights pass.
    “Though the sorrow may last for the night, joy comes in the morning!” I pray this morning that there is joy!

  4. Helen says:

    So glad that he has got back, you have been in my thoughts so much you brave girl.

  5. Alicia says:

    Oh your words, my heart just leapt.
    Praise for the peace that has come this morning. So happy he has arrived home.
    Rest, sleep, rest..

  6. HOORAY! (and that’s all my brain can formulate today…).

    But, really… YEAH!

  7. Lee-Ann says:

    Aaaahhhhhhh!!! I am SO SO happy for you. Enjoy your family. Enjoy that sneaky little one bumping around inside. I can just picture your peaceful smile as you listen to early morning happy [surpervised] noise. Music to a mother’s ears! So thankful with you.

  8. Dea' says:

    Thank you for rejoicing with me my friends. It has being a beautiful morning here together. As Jeremiah told us, “Now we’re a whole family, together.” Now to have the littlest join us….

    May you each enjoy a most beautiful weekend of Love.

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