Respiration: Cycles & Seasons

{Midnight last night, I suddenly jolted in bed and remembered: “It’s Monday! I didn’t post my Monday post!” I usually write during the week so that I know the Monday post is ready to go. So, while I had this post ready on Sunday, I neglected to post it! I think I’ve been a bit caught up with this! Anyways, here’s the Monday post, reflections on the simply amazing cycles of life and season}–

Walking alone in the frosty sunshine, my mind rewound to this same month, one year ago. I was heavily pregnant, J’ was working up north and only home about three days of each month, we were unsure as to future job and home choices, the boys were missing their Papa and needing greater active play than their round mama could supply, and the weight of each day was heavy. We were on the dark side of Christmas and the light on the horizon was cloaked in shadows.

Through months of challenge and tough lessons, we progressed through the winter, through the pregnancy, through the season, and into a deepening understanding of strength, responsibility, love, expectation, and ability.

As for so many seasons in my life (especially this past decade) I wouldn’t wish to repeat it, but I wouldn’t wish it away.

I needed that season.
I needed it, yet I never would have freely chosen it for myself.
I needed it, but I wanted the happily-ever-after without slaying the dragon.
I needed it, but I desired the insightful quotes and nodding heads and after-the-fact comfort  without the stretching, gasping, desperate fall through the cycle of all things made new.

I needed it, and my God was merciful enough to hover over us as Mother and Light and Rock as the sun waned and the months passed and we tore sinews and wrestled out a promise towards strength.

As I reflect on that season one year ago, and so many seasons before it, I am in awe of how God created us to breathe through seasons and cycles. It’s just so…perfect. We sleep, we wake, we sleep again. We bleed, we bear, we bleed again. We plant, we wait…, we reap, and we plant again. Circles of life and breath cycling in His time, within His plan, before His eyes, within His hands.

So simple.
So mysterious.
So perfect.

4 Responses to “Respiration: Cycles & Seasons”
  1. Ahh, dear sister, I needed to read this. We’re going through such turbulent, difficult times. So much that I haven’t even found the strength to talk about them openly (yet…). But you’re right: we need these times.

  2. Melanie B says:

    Oh, these thoughts are so exquisite, Dea! And through the seasons, you’ve become even more beautiful!

  3. Marissa says:

    Oh yes, this has been my past two years exactly….I’ve needed it and I am becoming through it, but I would have never chosen it. Sometimes, my aching life muscles cry that to stop but they are being strengthened and molded. It is Good but so hard. Love you friend.

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