The little ones outside…needing in.

As I walked out to the car, arms laden with gifts and party food, I saw a tiny bunny. It must have been from a late summer litter as it was shockingly small and oddly unmoved by my presence. It sat there, next to the stinky-sketchy garage, and looked back at me. Its eyes were a mix of apprehension and wonder. Should she fear me? But to where should she flee?

I drew near, captured in her young dark eyes.

We stood there in the dark, in the cold, and considered each other.

Then, without hurry, she shuffled under the step and settled in for the night. I poured some grain and carrots down the tunnel towards her and drove into the night.


That evening, in the midst of the party and holiday treats, a dear friend stopped by in the midst of a family crisis. With her, she brought an almost-newborn; tiny, unaware of her family’s situation, away from her immediate family.

I dew near her, captured in her young dark eyes.

We stood there in the light, in the warmth, and considered each other.


Then, in that moment, I realized that something had been growing in my heart. I knew, without a doubt, that if she had been passed to me with that certain request, I would have taken her to my breast and into my home and called her my own forever. In that moment, I knew that my husband would have welcomed her as well, and without hesitation. I knew that, somehow, in some way, I had crossed a line into a new and wide-open space of mystery and unwritten story.

I have been immensely blessed with three sons from my body and they keep my days full and my spirit in a state of repentance. But I know our heart-doors have been opened and our home is waiting in a beautiful limbo of availability for the possibility of dark eyes and broken hearts and half-written pages. I don’t know the realities of when or if or how, but how many life-changing stories begin with, “Here I am…”?


As I consider young hearts and dark eyes I pray for peace in my home, maturity in my heart, and the courage to say ‘Yes!’ when a basket floats towards me. I pray that warmth and light will shine through the windows of our hearts and homes; a beacon to those in the cold, those in need of arms around them and a family to call their own.
Oh the sweet fear of dreams and the strong comfort of an all-knowing, all-redeeming Father!


6 Responses to “The little ones outside…needing in.”
  1. Kmarie says:

    That would be beautiful The foster system needs more people like you. I would say just get enrolled in the preliminary required classes (both you and hubby) so that if they time does come (whether by fostering or adoption) that it is all ready and that all you do have to do is say yes. I can give you a number to call if need be:)
    This is exciting and sweet:)
    Happy Christmas to you friend!

    • Dea' says:

      Wanna email me that number? 🙂 Thanks K! (and I owe your hubby a ridiculously belated phone call regarding a bday request he had for you!! Yikers! More later. Screamers at full volume here! 🙂 )


  2. Marissa says:

    Ah, I have little ones forever engraved on my heart…some that I held in my arms and wished that I could never let go while another, the daughter of my heart, I never saw. It’s hard sometimes because our direction seems to be pointing away from calling them my own but to support others. I didn’t expect that and I do hope/believe that it some day changes again.

    • Dea' says:

      I’ve been thinking about that Daughter. Wow…. I think I am beginning to understand {a teeny tiny bit more} how that was and is for you…..

      I’m not sure how it’s going to look for us. Or really, even IF, given all the realities and such. But for now, I have a jar and an open door. The jar is being filled bit by bit by my Spero sales. Every profit dollar goes there. And my door, well, it’s just open and we’ll see what happens!

  3. Yes! I know this heart feeling. I love the way you captured it. There are babies I have known even briefly who have somehow etched themselves on my heart. I expect some crazy “here’s a baby” story to happen someday… but isn’t it surprising to find that God has been making our hearts so ready for it, and how natural it feels? Kind of stunning, all of it. Love this post.

    Unrelated: I was making fudge tonight and thinking of making fudge for you on your birthday long ago…

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