remembering

Posted by Dea' on November 28, 2011 · 5 Comments 

Today marks the first Sunday of Advent.

Beautiful.

This evening, we made a fire, poured some ‘Christmas milk’ (ie. Eggnog), and cuddled together for our first readings from this fantastic little book. The boys were attentive enough and J and I were even able to have bits of conversation in between their antics. Within the Hope of this first day (as Jem says, “It’s the first day of CHWASMAS!” there is a full introductory post coming with more details on our family is celebrating Advent this year, and then many snippets and glimpses as we journey through the season.

But today also marks another day that I’ve been awaiting; an anniversary. Now that the house is quiet and all others are tucked in and the fire is dying, I’m taking my moment to remember. See, I celebrate or mourn or remember things against time; one month ago, six months ago, one year ago. I find, for me, it brings perspective and eventually, bit by bit, closure.

One year ago today we drove away from the ranch.

Has it really been a whole year?
And only one year?

I remember not sleeping that last night; nestled on the couch by the fire with this newborn (and no clue that a year later I’d be preparing for another!). A long restless night in that awaited cabin, packed and emptied, on the brink of Advent. I finally awoke everyone sometime around 5:00am. We stumbled into darkness and blowing snow, fed the horses one last time, and slowly began our descent down the mountain, across the province, through a blizzard, and towards another new life.

One year ago today.

I remember how well the boys travelled. How I fretted the first three hours. How the highway was closed and then opened just minutes before each checkpoint. I remember trying to process, again, the details of our departure, the story of our time on the mountain, the various interpretations and conclusions.

I remember believing that the year ahead was going to be ‘the answer’, that everything was going to come together, that it had already ‘all worked out for the good…’. I remember believing that there was no way the next months could be more challenging or unexpected than the ones we had just breathed, or even the ones from the year before that.

Hm.

One year ago tonight, we pulled into Kingsfold and shared a night with friends. One year ago tomorrow we pulled into This Town, visited the Christmas Market, shared a meal, expressed relief that we were heading to the Big City instead of ending our journey here, of all places 😉 One year ago and a day, we pulled into that Big City and made a new home in a basement and dove into a new field of study and the new experience of PPD and the not new reminder that life and faith and finances and days can be tricky business.

One year ago, I never would have guess that I’d be living in this town, feeling this Baby turn and stretch within me, at the end of a year somehow more stretching and rigorous than all the others.

I think I’ve finally learned not to say, “Well a year from now we’ll….” Or “I’m certain that within a year we’ll…”.

And that’s alright.

Because a year from now we’ll be entering the season of Advent.
And every year, year after year, there is Hope.

 

Filed under Advent (preparing for Christmas), life lessons